"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
