It's Friday. Sex?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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