i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
