I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
