if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
