i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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