hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
