Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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