i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
