She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
