There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
