I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
