you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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