i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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