You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
