His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
