So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
NoShamevember. You game?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
