I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
