You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he was CRYING into my vagina
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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