My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
