yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
