the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
