Plan B is the new Plan A
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
