im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
