She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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