wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
