Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
