She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
