I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
