i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There's always time for handjobs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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