I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
what the fuck happened to the tacos
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
