and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
