My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
