Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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