Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
