after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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