Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
