There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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