If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
