doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
