I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
