"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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