Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
