yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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