HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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