I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
