My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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