Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
