i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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