why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Fuck appropriateness.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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