I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
