Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
