I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think I just sharted jello shots
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
