omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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